Disappointment

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  - H Jackson Brown Jr

Last night as I watched the Olympics, I couldn't help but feel some empathy for the US Men's Team.  They entered the competition as the favorites and yet, didn't even place for a medal.  I'm sure they each felt immense disappointment, but in spite of that, they will continue to compete and I'm sure bring home some individual medals!!

That's the thing about disappointment.  Sure, it can feel like the end of the world when something doesn't quite go the way you were hoping but does that mean you then simply give up, never to try again?  In Ed's world, the answer would be yes!!  He is all about failure!!!  But in recovery, we realize that the success comes from attempting something, being brave enough to have those dreams that we chase after - no matter what the outcome!!

And so today, I DARE you to try something.  As the quote says, you won't remember whether you achieved that goal or not in a few years, but you will always remember that you tried!!!  And as we always talk about, you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome and won't face disappointment at all!!!

So here's to taking risks and looking at disappointment in the face, DARING to do that thing that Ed says you shouldn't!!!

"The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do." - Author Unknown

Last night, I enjoyed watching the women's gymnastics at the Olympics.  As I watched them on the apparatus, I couldn't help but be amazed at their skill - especially those jumps and back flips on the beam.  I know for sure they haven't always been able to do that and in fact, probably wobbled once or twice and fell to the floor.  But the one thing I know they all have in common is that they never gave up and faced head on the something that I'm sure held a lot of fear for them at one point in their lives.

Recovery is like that.  When we first think about trying something new, the fear within us can be paralyzing.  Even as we let the idea 'live' in our minds a little longer, we still are afraid to step out of a routine that has been familiar into something that is unknown.

So today's Daily Dare is to do just that - step into something new!!  Go on, I DARE YOU!!!  Think about something that you've been contemplating doing, but something that you've been afraid of, and go for it!!!  As always, remember it doesn't have to be something big.  Recovery begins with the smallest of steps and yet, without those small risks, recovery wouldn't happen!  

Here's to taking a risk today.  Here's to doing just one thing you're afraid of, and when you have I think you'll be amazed at just how great you feel as you celebrate the success of your courage and we cheer you on as well!!  I DARE you to do it and then come share with us what step you took - besides, not only will that be a victory for you but you may even inspire someone else to take a risk too!!!

An unexpected Gift!

Last week something happened that made me really angry.  In the past, anger was something I avoided at all cost and even though in recovery I know that anger will pass, while you're going through it, it is still not comfortable!!

I wrote several angry emails ..... none of which got sent!!  I vented to my husband and had several conversations with friends to help me process through the situation.

Finally, I realized this weekend that actually what happened was the best gift I could ever have received.  It allowed me to let go of something that I'd been holding on to for far too long and was able to do so with complete peace.

Anger is simply an emotion.  When we allow ourselves to feel it, to process through it, and then navigate away from it, we can learn so much about ourselves.  Today I see anger as an unexpected gift that is bringing me something new to understand, a new lesson that I need to learn, and something that is no longer to be feared!!

So next time anger comes your way, instead of running in the opposite direction, why not sit with it for a while and see if it's brining you any unexpected gifts.  You never know, perhaps just simply allowing the wave of anger to wash over you and then ebb away, just like the ocean, will be the starting point to help you see that you too can experience anger!!

Unexpected Flying Objects

Tonight I had a blast watching my first baseball game in Jacksonville!!  What made it more fun was going with my husband, sister, her husband, and of course my gorgeous niece!!
Not long after the 7th inning stretch, the 'girls' decided it was time for a bathroom break .... and ironically our timing couldn't have been better!  You see, as we made our way back to our seats, we saw a flying bat flying past where we would have been sitting!  Yes, the batter had lost his bat and it went flying though our area, actually hitting several people!!
Life has a way of sometimes throwing things your way when you least expect them.  Everything can be going smoothly, but all of a sudden something completely unexpected comes your way that you never imagined coming - a little like that baseball bat!!
When living with Ed, these sudden changes would simply be ammunition for him - reasons why we should just listen to him and not choose recovery.  However, today what I have learned is that even though you may be caught off guard, may experience disappointment from a source you never imagined possible, the reality is that none of those things mean anything when it comes to recovery.  Nothing is worth feeling sad over if it means choosing between Ed and Recovery!
The Jacksonville Suns won their game tonight;  nobody was seriously hurt from the unexpected flying bat;  and life yet again had a wonderful way of reminding me why no matter what happens, so long as I have those things that keep me grounded - like my family to enjoy a baseball game with - it doesn't matter what life throws my way, I will always be victorious!!

Change

Life is an adventure, and these days I LOVE the ride and all the unexpected twists and turns it brings my way!!

It hasn't always been this way!  Change was something that I feared and would avoid at all cost.  Today, however, I've realized that change can actually be an incredible gift because it brings things into your life that you would not have experienced otherwise!!

Sometimes on this journey we reach a crossroads, with no clear view of which route we are supposed to take.  And so instead of taking a risk and following one of the paths, in the past my response would have been to retreat and crawl back into my hole because then I could avoid making a decision!

Recovery is not easy.  BUT, the one thing I've realized is that change is something I am grateful for today.  When things stay the same, often they are taken for granted by others or, the alternative you become complacent and no longer put forth the same effort that a situation deserves.  That is when change gently encourages you to take action, to make a decision, so that the journey can continue.

Ed hates change.  He will never want you to try something new and he will always push you backwards, telling you to simply bury your head in the sand!!  But if we always listen to him, we'll never move forward and that's when we become stuck in a life of misery with Ed.

Today I encourage you to embrace opportunities that bring new adventures your way!!  Go on, take a risk and try something new - you never know what joy it can bring your way!!

Gifts

"Every problem has a gift for you in its hands." - Richard Bach

Don't you love receiving gifts?  There's something about seeing how beautifully it's wrapped, the joy and excitement of unwrapping it, and then discovering what amazing thing there is inside!!  Even giving gifts can bring a smile to your face when you know you've picked the perfect present for someone!!

In recovery, something that was really helpful was realizing that instead of looking at my slips or times I turned to Ed as failures, I could imagine them as gifts.  You see, a slip meant that something I thought I'd figured out was still something that needed work on.  And so instead of beating myself up, I began to say 'thanks Ed' and totally confuse him by looking at the situation as a new opportunity to grow and learn.

So today I DARE you to look at a slip as a gift.  Unwrap that gift and see what lesson there is to be learned.  You never know, you may figure out how you could do it differently the next time, you could figure out something that's been missing that you need to add in, or you could even have a major breakthrough in your recovery as you realize a repeating pattern is related to something you'd never even paid attention to.

As you unwrap those recovery gifts, why not share with us any small insights you gain.  Go on, I DARE you to confuse Ed and thank him for the gifts he gives you ..... you can do it!!!!

The Moon

Have you seen the moon the past 2 nights?  It's been beautiful and it reminded me of something I wrote a while ago.

The Moon

This weekend my husband has been out of town.  The house seems especially quiet and empty without him here, and both the dogs and I keep waiting to here the roar of his car as he pulls into the garage!

Last night, we were able to connect and it was cool because we were both looking up to the sky for the moon.  No matter where each of us was, the one constant was that we could both see the amazing moon up in the night sky and for that moment, we were connected.

Recovery sometimes feels lonely, and yet if we look at the stars and the moon, we can remember that even though our friends and support may be far away, they are equally close by for they see the same night sky that we do.

Another cool thing that the moon offers is the reminder that anything is possible!!  Many years ago, people laughed at the thought of people actually landing on the moon.  And yet, that impossible dream became a reality!  Recovery is just like that!  It may seem like an impossible dream, but keep searching for ways to find it, and you WILL get there!

So here’s to the moon and all it’s magnificence.  And here’s to the reminder that wherever you are, you are always connected!

SLIP

So tonight in our meeting, we were talking about slips.  Ed loves them and tries to use them to his advantage to persuade us to keep listening.

But, I came up with a new acronym to help remind us that slips are simply opportunities to learn!

Stop

Listen

Inspire

Proceed

Stop

when a slip happens, think of it as a stop light.  it is a warning sign that we need to stop and assess what's going on.

Listen

After a slip, we have to listen to what it's trying to teach us.  Every slip has a lesson and it may take us a while to figure out what it is, but it really is just something that we haven't learned yet.

Inspire

A slip can inspire us into motivation.  Maybe it's inspiration comes from reminding us to reach out next time Ed's voice is loud, maybe it inspires us into figuring out what's really going on, or maybe it's the inspiration we need to keep fighting because we're tired of listening to Ed!

Proceed

Just because we slip, it does NOT mean we have to take's Ed's view and let it lead to further slips and relapse.  We CAN keep moving forward because a slip is simply that, a slip.  When you're out walking and you fall, do you just sit there the rest of the day?  NO, you get back up and carry on walking.  The same is true with a slip.

So the next time you slip, remember what it stands for and tell Ed that you're done listening to his perspective!