Tuesday, January 31, 2012

So today we got the exciting confirmation that Jenni Schaefer is going to join us at the inaugural Fighting Back 5k!!!!! yes, she is headed to the beautiful beaches of Jacksonville to help The Cariad Foundation in raising awareness about eating disorders, as well as some money to be awarded as grants.
yes, if you've not signed up for yet, GO DO IT NOW!!!!! Go on, I DARE you!!!!
The link for signing up is: http://www.jax365.com/fighting-back-5k
Hope you can join us for what promises to be an AMAZING day and yet another message to Ed that he's not welcome!!!!!

Monday, January 30, 2012

This weekend I had a blast down in Daytona at the 24 hours of Daytona, Rolex car racing! From not worrying about food, to enjoying time with friends, camping in my car, and much, much more … it was truly a fun and freeing weekend!!
Of course, I couldn't help but think of recovery - well, and Ed's obnoxious voice really!! You see, being so close to the race track and hearing those cars zoom by, it was hard to have a conversation. Actually, it was pretty impossible and even though we put ear buds in to deafen out the cars, you could still hear them! Ed's voice is as loud as those cars are and to be honest, it was often impossible to drown out his obnoxious drivel. Listening for the recovery voice was virtually impossible because you couldn't hear it's quiet whisper above that yelling.
So how can you fight back? Well, for us we had to find new and creative ways of hearing each other! We texted or used the notepad feature on our phones, we went and sat in our car where it was a little quieter, or we found a quieter place where we could really talk. And so in fighting Ed, you have to find those same ways to listen to recovery …. perhaps ensuring you make a phone call, planning dinner with a friend if hitting that meal plan is tough, or simply going for a walk to get out in the fresh air.
What are you going to do this week to fight back against Ed's din? Go on, I DARE you to try something new!!
Zoom, zoom!!!!!

Friday, January 27, 2012

so today I was sitting talking with someone and reflecting on how something had gone. Giving feedback is never an easy thing, especially when it's giving honesty about areas where they need to keep working.
As humans, I think it's natural that when we hear that 'negative' feedback, we struggle to see past that and realize it's actually constructive feedback that can allow us to continue growing and learning. As a defense mechanism, we often move into presenting reasons why it happened the way it did, why it went wrong, etc.
Ed is the master of excuses. If a meal is missed, Ed tells us that ti's ok because 'you were stressed and it would make sense your appetite was gone', or if you purged, he'll tell you a lie like 'it's ok, you were probably allergic anyway and so no big deal'. But the reality is, there is no excuse for listening to Ed if we are really serious about recovery. There comes a point where we have to fight back and 'just do it'!! That's not to say that recovery is going to be perfect and that we'll never have any slips, we will!!, but that's when we have to accept they happened, and then move on without it becoming an excuse for continuing to listen to Ed.
One of my phrases I say is "No ifs, no buts, NO OPTION'!!!!! You see, I realized that the only way I was going to fight Ed as to have the mentality that i was no longer going to listen to his crap because when it came to following my meal plan, finding a healthy balance for exercise, making phone calls, etc, those were things I had to do no matter what!!
And so this weekend, I challenge you to fight Ed with the 'no ifs, no buts, NO OPTION' mentality!! When Ed suggests a behavior, stick your fingers in your ears and scream out 'la la la la la'!!! When you don't want to make that phone call that you know will provide support, do it anyway - you now you'll be glad you did!!!!
Go on, I DARE you!! For an hour, a morning, an afternoon, or even a day, tell Ed that there are NO excuses because you WANT recovery and are willing to do whatever it takes!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
so today I was sitting talking with someone and reflecting on how something had gone. Giving feedback is never an easy thing, especially when it's giving honesty about areas where they need to keep working.
As humans, I think it's natural that when we hear that 'negative' feedback, we struggle to see past that and realize it's actually constructive feedback that can allow us to continue growing and learning. As a defense mechanism, we often move into presenting reasons why it happened the way it did, why it went wrong, etc.
Ed is the master of excuses. If a meal is missed, Ed tells us that ti's ok because 'you were stressed and it would make sense your appetite was gone', or if you purged, he'll tell you a lie like 'it's ok, you were probably allergic anyway and so no big deal'. But the reality is, there is no excuse for listening to Ed if we are really serious about recovery. There comes a point where we have to fight back and 'just do it'!! That's not to say that recovery is going to be perfect and that we'll never have any slips, we will!!, but that's when we have to accept they happened, and then move on without it becoming an excuse for continuing to listen to Ed.
One of my phrases I say is "No ifs, no buts, NO OPTION'!!!!! You see, I realized that the only way I was going to fight Ed as to have the mentality that i was no longer going to listen to his crap because when it came to following my meal plan, finding a healthy balance for exercise, making phone calls, etc, those were things I had to do no matter what!!
And so this weekend, I challenge you to fight Ed with the 'no ifs, no buts, NO OPTION' mentality!! When Ed suggests a behavior, stick your fingers in your ears and scream out 'la la la la la'!!! When you don't want to make that phone call that you know will provide support, do it anyway - you now you'll be glad you did!!!!
Go on, I DARE you!! For an hour, a morning, an afternoon, or even a day, tell Ed that there are NO excuses because you WANT recovery and are willing to do whatever it takes!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

As a teacher, I am constantly in situations where I'm helping students grow and learn. This semester, I also have an intern and it's been awesome in that it's really helping me reflect and learn too!
Learning to be a teacher is tough!! There are so many intricate details that we don't realize take place until we are actually managing the class. Consequently, when it feels like it's falling apart, the instinctive feeling is "I'm a failure", "I made a mistake", or "I did that all wrong". Thinking that way leaves us feeling dejected and certainly that was obvious in my room today. Any positives were completely overlooked because the focus was drawn totally to the 'mistakes'.
Recovery can so often feel that way. We forget to notice the things we are doing well, we ignore the fact that we managed to make a phone call, follow a meal plan, or get out of bed because of one slip that may have happened. And yet, without those small steps, we would not be moving - and whether we realize it or not, we are always making progress!
And so the challenge is to truly focus on the successes and stop Ed from stealing those moments from us. Perhaps the time has come for you to keep a success journal - writing down at least 1 success each day. Imagine what an incredible tool this would be for you on the days where Ed's negative voice is truly obnoxious!! Go on, I DARE you to go buy a journal today and start writing in it. I think you'll be surprised by the positive impact it can have!!!!

Monday, January 23, 2012




Lately, I feel like I just never have enough hours in a day to get everything done.  Between my 'day job' of teaching, my work with Ed Recovery Jax and The Cariad Foundation, and everything else in between, I feel like I constantly go to bed with a giant to-do list that never gets completed!!!
But then I hit pause for a moment, and after thinking a little more, realized that even if I had 36 hours in a day, or 72 hours in a day, I'd still not have enough time to accomplish all I wanted to!!
And so the question becomes 'how can I ensure I put in some self-care for me each day?  LOL - yeah, easier said than done, right!!
I guess life is about living it to the fullest, but it's also about remembering that I can only do so much and that so long as when my head hits the pillow I can say 'I did my best today', the day has been a success!
How do you manage your time?  Are you a great time-management person?  Do you find you have the right amount of balance?  If so, share your tips!!!
If you struggle, like I do, what is one thing you could try to do differently this week that may make a difference?  What is one thing you are willing to commit to each day that helps you find some time for self-care?
Come on, together let's do this - I know we can!!  I DARE you!!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


One of the things I love to find is new pieces of inspiration - be it a picture, jewelry, or something for my home.  Those visual reminders allow me to remember why I choose to live in recovery each day, they bring a smile to my face, and well, they've become a part of my 'Ed Armor'.

Today I added what I consider to be a beautiful new piece of inspiration to my home, and although my husband kept referring to it as my 'rock collection', it's taken it's place nicely in front of the tv!

Do you have any Ed Armor?  Do you carry something tangible that reminds you why you are fighting for freedom from this demon called Ed?  Maybe you need to start today and find just one thing.  Maybe you can go for a walk outside and find your own 'rock' that you can grab a sharpie and add a word on.  Go on, I DARE you!!


Friday, January 20, 2012

This morning as I was taking my medication, I manage to drop the little red pill into a sea of white ones. Yeah - not smart!! It was that feeling of hunting for a needle in a haystack because there was about 200 white pills compared to my one red!!! Fortunately, I kept hunting and found it.
In early recovery, 'freedom' is like that little red pill. It was this illusive thing I was searching for that seemed impossible to find. I knew it was there, I'd had glimpses, but other things seem to overpower it and I thought I'd never find way to fight Ed and have recovery in there for good.
But here's the thing. If you keep fighting, are persistent, and dig your way through the 'crap', you'll eventually find full freedom - I promise!!
So start today! Start tossing out that huge pile of white pills to find your way to the minute red one. Begin with just one thing you're going to work on throwing aside - go on, I DARE you!!!
Yesterday I had to take one of my dogs, Cara, to the vet. We've been concerned about her, and she is my 'baby' so I wanted to be sure that it was nothing serious.
As we arrived at the vet, my sweet girl began what we call her 'monkey girl' routine! I think it's a nervous thing and her way of vocalizing that she's scared. It continued as the vet examined her and Cara continued to pace, make her money noises and paw at me to pick her up.
well, the good news is that it's nothing serious. And then of course there's the fact that it made me think about recovery. Cara's vocalizing and pawing at me to pick her up was her way of letting me know she needed me to support her. She knew that if she was in my arms, then everything was safe and no harm would come to her.
In recovery, something that gives us that same sense of support is having a strong support network. When we get scared, overwhelmed, nervous, or want to celebrate the victories, those 'safe' people are the ones we turn to that give us security to keep going.
Who's on your team? Do you have people to turn to when fear tries to sneak in?
Maybe it's time to take a risk and add some folks, or make a phone call …. go on, I DARE you!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I love my life, but there is something special about Tuesdays and Thursdays and that is the fact that I get to connect with some amazing men and women who are fighting for their recovery. They motivate me and inspire me every week and I love seeing recovery in action right before my eyes!

Ed hates connection. He fights it with all his might because he knows that when we connect with others he does not stand a chance. As such, it can be tough trying to push past the wall that Ed has built in an attempt to stop us reaching out but what he doesn't realize is that you have sledgehammer in your pocket to know it down. Are you going to use it today?

Go on, I DARE you!!

Join us tonight online as we spend an hour together fighting Ed. From celebrating successes, finding support, and hurling insults at Ed, you're sure to find motivation for the week ahead!!

Here's the lo-down:

When: Tonight, Thursday 1/19
Where: Online at www.edrecoveryjax.ning.com
Time: 8:30 pm - 9:30 pm eastern time

Come join us - you won't regret it!!

Life is good, but life in recovery is even better!!! :0)
So apparently my brain decided that around 5:00 am this morning it had slept enough and wanted to wake up and start this day!! I have to admit, I was not in agreement with my brain but finally figured instead of lying there in bed, I would get up and put the energy to productive use!!

One of my favorite sayings in recovery is "The person with the most recovery is the one who got up the earliest". Of course, Ed might want to run with that and turn it into a competition so tell him to butt out!! What it always gave me the reminder of was that each day is a new day and so no matter what went on the day before, it didn't matter because this day was the most important!!

We sometimes get caught up in Ed's reminders of how we are 'failures' if we slipped the day before. The thing is, early recovery is not perfect and what I found to be more helpful was looking at those slips as simply opportunities to grow and learn. They each held a lesson that could teach me something new about how to tackled Ed and by viewing it that way, slips became gifts.

And so as you start a new day, remember that you can make this day whatever you want it to be! Yesterday truly is gone, but today you can choose to have an amazing day and if you were up before me, that means you even start this day with more recovery than me!! ;o)

Go on, put on your Ed Armor and tell Ed that this is YOUR day not his - go on, I DARE you!!!

Happy Thursday my fellow Ed-busting friends and here's knowing it can be an AWESOME one!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tonight I was reminded of the incredible gift of recovery and how grateful I am to have MY life back!

The road to recovery is by no means easy, and yet each step I took brought me closer to freedom.  Sometimes no matter how much work I did, though, I felt like I still had so far to go and I would get disullusioned.  Can you relate?

So how do you move past that place?  How do you find the motivation to keep moving forward and trust that what those ahead of you are saying is true - that you can and WILL recover!

Well, one thing that made a difference for me was the gift of gratitude.  Each night I would write down 3 things I was grateful for - perhaps the fact I was still breathing, maybe a phone call from a friend, or a kiss from my puppy.  I couldn't help but smile when I wrote them down and as I saw those things add up, well talk about ammunition to fight Ed and remind me why I was choosing recovery.

So how about trying it?  Go on, I DARE you!!!!  Begin by practicing some self-care and treat yourself to a new journal, and then sit down at the end of the day and start writing.  Even if you manage it 3 nights out of the next 7, that's success!!!

Here's to trying something new and the reminder that if you're reading this, you have something to be grateful for - you're still breathing which means you can still fight Ed!!!

Life is good, but life in recovery is even better!!!! :D

Monday, January 16, 2012

This morning, I could not get the song ‘Smile’ out of my head, not that there’s anything wrong with this song, but it’s been playing non-stop!!

I guess it started because as I was going about the crazy start to my day, I realized that the more I smiled at people, chatted to them, and engaged in conversation, the more I got a positive response and ultimately, they proved more helpful!!

For example, I was going into an elevator and was patiently waiting for it to come. As the doors open, several people simply pushed passed me so they could be the first to get in. Living with Ed, I would have agreed with his view that clearly I was in the way and that the reason they pushed past me was because I was invisible due to the negative things about me. Of course, I could also have thought to myself ‘how rude’ of them and let them know that. Instead, I walked in after them, commented that I need to go the same floor as them, and then joked about how all the folks were going to floor three except for one and maybe she needed to join the party on the third floor! The laughter and smiles filled that elevator and were a far contrast that the negativity that could have surrounded us.

For as much as there can be times when I feel sad, I know that a simple smile or laughter can brighten my day, lift my spirit, and remind me that no matter how dark those clouds are, there is always a little ray of sunshine somewhere to be found!

So today I challenge you to smile at a stranger, continue to be positive even if the person helping you seems grumpy, and remind yourself that you are not only brightening their day, but bringing positive energy to your own too!!

Go on, smile - I DARE you!!!
If you haven’t noticed, our site got a ‘makeover’!! Hopefully you’ll find it just as easy to use, with some great new additions - like this blog that you can subscribe to for weekly motivation!

In creating the ‘new look’, it reminded me that sometimes we get stuck in the same routines and as that quote says, “if you always did what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got”!

That’s where connecting with others can be so powerful because it gives you new ideas to try, new approaches, and may just give the inspiration to try a new tactic to escape Ed!

Recovery is about finding what works for you, but knowing when it’s time to take a risk. After all, you never know when that risk might lead to somewhere even more exciting and amazing!

For 2 years, Ed Recovery Jax’s main site has had the same look. There was nothing wrong with it, but by changing it subtly we can offer even more!

So here’s to change and trusting that sometimes change can be the best thing ever!!

Go on, I dare you - try something new this week, you never know where it might lead you!

Keep fighting!!