so today I was sitting talking with someone and reflecting on how something had gone. Giving feedback is never an easy thing, especially when it's giving honesty about areas where they need to keep working.
As humans, I think it's natural that when we hear that 'negative' feedback, we struggle to see past that and realize it's actually constructive feedback that can allow us to continue growing and learning. As a defense mechanism, we often move into presenting reasons why it happened the way it did, why it went wrong, etc.
Ed is the master of excuses. If a meal is missed, Ed tells us that ti's ok because 'you were stressed and it would make sense your appetite was gone', or if you purged, he'll tell you a lie like 'it's ok, you were probably allergic anyway and so no big deal'. But the reality is, there is no excuse for listening to Ed if we are really serious about recovery. There comes a point where we have to fight back and 'just do it'!! That's not to say that recovery is going to be perfect and that we'll never have any slips, we will!!, but that's when we have to accept they happened, and then move on without it becoming an excuse for continuing to listen to Ed.
One of my phrases I say is "No ifs, no buts, NO OPTION'!!!!! You see, I realized that the only way I was going to fight Ed as to have the mentality that i was no longer going to listen to his crap because when it came to following my meal plan, finding a healthy balance for exercise, making phone calls, etc, those were things I had to do no matter what!!
And so this weekend, I challenge you to fight Ed with the 'no ifs, no buts, NO OPTION' mentality!! When Ed suggests a behavior, stick your fingers in your ears and scream out 'la la la la la'!!! When you don't want to make that phone call that you know will provide support, do it anyway - you now you'll be glad you did!!!!
Go on, I DARE you!! For an hour, a morning, an afternoon, or even a day, tell Ed that there are NO excuses because you WANT recovery and are willing to do whatever it takes!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!