Is it worth it??

You know, I often get asked 'is it worth it?', 'is the fight really going to get me to a place of recovery?', or 'can you ever really recover?'.

I remember asking those questions.  I'd never even met anyone who'd recovered, and so the reality for me was that freedom from Ed was pretty much impossible.  I'd go to bed at night and ask God to just not let me wake up in the morning - of course, His plan was different to mine, thank goodness!!

Then one day, I went to the the bookstore - ironically, it was an avoidance tactic because I was fighting Ed over lunch and at the time he was winning!  As I browsed the shelves for yet another suggestion on how to beat Ed, I came across Jenni's book "Life Without Ed".  It was as if I was reading my own words and the sense of relief I got because someone was writing what I was feeling, well it was incredible.  I took that book to a cafe, had some lunch, and began taking steps toward freedom.

My journey since then has been filled with ups and downs, but today I live in COMPLETE freedom and have done so for over 4 years.  I never imagined that would happen, especially because I had lived with Ed for more than 22 years.

So my answer to the question "is it worth it?" - YES!!!!!!!! No matter how impossible it seems, NEVER STOP FIGHTING!!!!  The journey ahead may seem impossible, but the cool part is you don't have to tackle it all in one day!!  You can take baby steps, then celebrate those victories, take a rest if you need, and then try again.  I promise you that if you keep connecting, fighting, and believing, you WILL find freedom too!!!