So tonight as I was driving home, I had that annoying thing happen where you have a song in your head and it won't stop playing!! Only the thing was, I couldn't remember the real lyrics but was making up new ones because of where my head was!!!
The song is "Sitting on the dock of the bay", but my version went "Sitting on the edge of the cliff"!!! You see, the past few weeks I've been sitting on the edge of a cliff and just was scared to actually jump off. yes, even in recovery, there are situations that present themselves that challenge me!!
I have had an intern and I knew I needed to make a decision but it was one I didn't want to make because of how it would probably turn out. Even though I knew deep down what I needed to do, actually following through and doing it was just not happening. Hence the song "Sitting on the edge of the cliff"!!!!
Today I finally leaped!!! I was terrified to be honest, but here's what I discovered. Once I took that leap, I found support there to catch up me and guide me to a 'safe' landing. once I used my voice and spoke up for what I believe in, I realized that people actually agreed with me and were 100% in support of what I was saying. The leap was actually worth taking and if I'd never taken it, I'd have never known that!!
Recovery is not easy. Letting go of Ed is even tougher. But at some point we have to decide if we're willing to just jump off the edge of the cliff and try doing it differently - knowing that we can always go back if we choose to!!
And so, at the end of my ramble a new song comes to mind - Aretha Franklin's "Think". My version ..... "You'd better jump, (jump), jump, (jump), if you want recovery"
LOL, my musical brain is apparently active tonight, but I'm sure you've somehow got the point of my rambling blog!!!!
Go on, I DARE you - jump off the edge of the cliff this week. You might be surprised what you find when you do!!!!
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